The Secret for the Ultimate Gift on Valentine’s Day

Did someone you love do something special and memorable for you this Valentine’s Day?

Valentine’s Day is big business. In the U.S., over $20 Billion is spent per year on cards, flowers, candy and jewelry. That amounts to about $130 per person. Why do we spend so much money to express our love and affection?

I’ve lived through enough Valentine’s Days to know that my expressions of love are now more of an obligation than a romantic surprise. The penalty for forgetting the special day can be worse than the reward for remembering it. Even though I sound a little cynical, I actually enjoy celebrating Valentine’s Day, .

One thing I have figured out for sure. If I want my gift to be not only special but memorable, I need to do two things. First, I need to make sure that my expression has the element of surprise. And second, I need to ensure that my gift has permanence. Candy and flowers don’t have permanence. And they hardly offer the element of surprise. My options for creating something both special and memorable seem pretty limited. Do I really have to bust the budget in order to demonstrate my love and affection?

As I was preparing for this Valentine’s Day, I learned some invaluable lessons of life from our son Elijah. In his last month with us, he randomly left a voice message for Melanie. Melanie was asking me this week to help her turn that message into a ringtone on her phone. She wanted to keep Elijah’s sweet message with her all the time. She wanted it with her wherever she went. As we listened again to the message together, I watched Melanie’s heart melt. And in that moment where our tears were a mix of both joy and sorrow, I realized what Elijah had accomplished.

He showed that the ultimate gift of love is best when least expected. He showed that the most memorable gift of love does not have to be costly. He had a choice to hang up and try to call his mom later, but instead he left his valuable message on the recording. We now have that message with his voice as a permanent gift from him.

Essentially, Elijah showed that romantic love can never compete with the love from a son to his mother. As a father and husband, I can best love my wife by making sure my children know how valuable and wonderful is their mother. Here is what Elijah left for Melanie on her voice mail at the end of October:

I just wanted to call you and say… well first of all I was just wondering where you are, but…
That I love you and that, I want to see how you are doing,
And that I just wanted to tell you that I care about you a lot,
And that you are the best mom I could have,
And that you mean a lot to me,
And … I just want you to know that you mean a lot to me
That’s what I wanted to tell you..

Every single day is difficult for us without Elijah. The holidays will never be the same. But at least this Valentine’s Day we will celebrate the ultimate gift that Elijah left for his mom. We are thankful that he did what so many of us never take the time to do. I will now find more ways to surprise the people I love with permanent messages of kindness and thoughtfulness and love. And it won’t even have to be Valentine’s Day!

Please ‘like’ and ‘share’ this post as you find it helpful and inspiring. Thank you.

-Ken Buchanan